Isn't what it is
by Melanie Swirls
Summary: Discontinued. Alika moved to Danville & has to go to a new highschool & make new friends. While shes there, she meets quiet Ferb and his small group of friends. But who will win out; Them or Phineas and the in crowd? Ferb/OC/Phineas! SONGFIC!
1. Chapter 1: Creep

Authors Note: ok, I apologize for stocking yet another story on my to-finish-writing pile, but I got the idea for this and I couldn't resist! Anyways, It's a Ferb/OC/Phineas pairing, and yeah! Oh, it's a songfic but not with like, the entire song. ENJOY!

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it isChapter 1: Creep

First day of 11th grade in a new town, new school and I have no friends. Danville Highschool looked like a prison from the parking lot. The social classes obviously divided. I could see a tall, muscular (but not overly muscular) red headed guy talking to a bunch of people. From here I could tell that he was apart of the "in" crowd. I sighed and decided not to waste my time there. With my pink and brown hair, old worn skinny jeans, 2 sizes to big Radiohead tee shirt and black converse I already knew I wasn't going to fit in there. I could see a girl who was sitting beside the redheaded guy. She had long, untamable black hair and she looked to be his girlfriend. I sigh again push my black purse containing everything I'll need for the year and the book "crank" from Ellen Hopkins, because that's what I'm currently reading before walking towards a tall, lean guy with shaggy green hair and deep green eyes.

_**When you were here before,  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel,  
Your skin makes me cry**_

He was reading a book and he was really well looking. "Salutations. I said as I sit down beside him and looked at the cover. He was reading "identical" by Ellen Hopkins. I smiled and he looked up to me.

_**You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world  
I wish I was special  
You're so fucking special**_

He was pale, extremely so. His upper lip stuck out poutingly. He wore a bit of black eye liner, which made his green eyes look even deeper. He was wearing a AC/DC tee shirt and tight black skinny jeans with red converse. He was gorgeous.

_**But I'm a creep,  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here**_

I smiled up at him. "The name is Alika. What's yours?" I asked and he smiled slightly back at me. "Ferb Fletcher." I noticed a British accent and smiled even wider. "Your British?" I ask and he nodded. I knew I was going to like him. He was easy to talk to because he wasn't always telling you you were wrong. "Hey, Ferb! Who's she?" Yelled the red head guy as he jogged over. I sighed and watched Ferb look at me, and then to him. "Alika." He said, as he looked back down at the book uninterested. "Greetings." I said as I waved to him with a small smile on my face.

_**I don't care if it hurts,  
I wanna have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul**_

"You walked over to my step brother without saying hi to me. I just had to introduce myself. I'm Phineas Flynn." He had no accent but that hardly seemed important to me. He wasn't even slightly as gorgeous as Ferb and he was suffocating me with all the energy. "I see. I'm guessing your one of those guys who flirt with every new girl they see because your competing on how many girlfriends you can get by the end of the year. Am I right?" I asked in my monotone voice. Over the years, I've perfected the "I-don't-care-so-leave-me-alone" look and tone, and it wasn't easy because I cared most of the time.

_**I want you to notice  
when I'm not around  
You're so fuckin' special  
I wish I was special**_

He put his hand over his heart and faked insulted. "Alika! How could you hurt me so?" He asked jokingly and I sighed. "Can you please shut up and go hang out with your cheerleader girlfriend now?" I asked as I motioned my chin towards the black haired girl. Phineas frowned but left and I looked at Ferb to see that he was giving me a questioning look.

_**But I'm a creep  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh**_

"What?" I asked as I tried to mirror the look. He shook his head and smiled. "Can I see your schedule?" He asked as he held out his hand. I gave it to him and he smiled to himself. "I have English, Creative writing, music, technology and History with you." He said as he handed it back. I smiled and laughed. He gave me another questioning gaze and I knew I had to explain or be called a total loser. "It's good I'm going to know someone. I don't make friends easy because people always think I'm really dark and sarcastic, but to tell you the truth, I'm only sarcastic and mean if I don't like the person." I explained and Ferb nodded like he understood, which was great because I didn't want have to deal with him getting angry at people when I can't control the sarcasm. "So you don't like Phineas?" He asked as he shut the book and met my gaze. He was so gorgeous. "Not really. He strikes me as a popular and spoiled player." Ferb snorted at my remark and I started laughing. Even his snort was cute.

_**She's running out again  
She's running out  
She run run run run...  
run... run...**_

A bell rang and everybody started piling into the school. I jumped up and walked into the school beside Ferb feeling slightly more confident then I did before since he was in my English class, which was first period.

I walked into class and took a seat beside Ferb in the second row. The teacher was a plump woman with graying hair and vivacious blue eyes. She seemed like a nice enough person with a nice smile. I was going to try and get along with her.

_**Whatever makes you happy  
Whatever you want  
You're so fuckin' special  
I wish I was special**_

I tan medium height guy took the seat beside Ferb. He had flat brown eyes, tan skin, and curly black hair. He looked Indian but I couldn't tell for sure. He was wearing normal jeans and a black tee shirt. "Oh, hello. I'm Baljeet." He said in a surprisingly high-pitched and nervous tone. He seemed like a funny person once he came out of his shell, but he was obviously the studious nerd. I was going to become great friends with him. "Salutations. I'm Alika Frost." I told him as I opened my notebook prepared to write down anything she told us to. English and Creative writing were my 2 favorite subjects.

_**But I'm a creep,  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doin' here?  
I don't belong here**_

A girl with long, pin straight dyed red hair came and sat beside me. She was short, skinny and Japanese. She had glasses and was wearing a plaid red and green miniskirt and a tight black tank top with a red and black hoodie. She shot me an excited smile and pushed her glasses up before sticking her hand out for me to shake. "I'm Andorea Burakku. What's you name?" She asked in a hyper voice. I giggled and smiled back at her. "Alika." I whispered as the bell rang and people shuffled to their seats. I watched as the teacher wrote her name on the board. It was 'Mrs. Louisa Wright.'

For the first period of school on the first day, I think I was doing pretty good, there was an undeniable feeling still stuck in my stomach.

_**I don't belong here...**_

Authors note: and that is my first chapter! Do you like it so far? Anyways the song is Creep my radiohead! Anything you want me to change or like so much that if I change it you'll hate me? REVIEW AND TELL ME!

Peace in!

**Mel Swirls!**


	2. Chapter 2: We are the end

Authors Note: I didn't go to school today so be happy that you have this chapter! I didn't get that much feedback as I was hoping but whatever, the story must go on! Enjoy!

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it isChapter 2: We are the end

English class was a breeze. Mrs. Wright was a really good teacher and Andorea kept me entertained the entire time. She liked to talk and very little was going to stop her. She was a very happy person too. She and I were already close friends and I found out she was going out with Baljeet. I also learned that they have a friend called Buford, and he comes off all strong (and she assured me that he really was) but he was really funny anyways. So she was showing me to our math class while talking about how strict the teacher was and how annoying Phineas got in this particular class. She also told me that he assigned seats. I sighed and walked in to see the of-so-famous Mr. Dan Clarke was sitting at his desk.

_**Look around, look around.  
There's no affection, only infection.  
Search yourself, search yourself.  
Can I depend on you to surrender?**_

He was young, in his thirties maybe, and he had brown hair that wasn't thinning yet and a very slim figure. She had a straight and long nose and violet eyes. He didn't interest me that much but he spoke to me anyways. "You, girl with the odd coloured hair, what's your name?" He asked in a very teenage-like manner that I was surprised that he was the teacher. "Alika Frost. I'm new here." I explained and he nodded and looked back at the piece of paper he had on his desk. I could already see it was the seating arrangement. Oh joy.

Once all the kids were in class, Mr. Clarke got up from his chair and glared at us, his violet eyes seemed excited but his smug face told a different story. "Ok, so as you all know, there will be a seating arrangement, and I will not move you until next month, so suck up and deal with it." He told us as he glared at each teenager in the room. I sighed at his total strictness but stayed quiet.

_**And we will storm their shores,  
Eyes suffocating all they see.  
Feet sturdy on the rubble that will soon be dust.  
And there will be no ruins, no memory, no history  
Only our unrelenting march side by side,  
We will comb the earth and sweep it clean, hearts and feet unified.  
The hand of man is no match for our warless army**_

"Isabella Shapiro." He said as he pointed to the first seat in the front of the class. The black haired girl that was Phineas' girlfriend sat down. I guess she was Isabella. "Buford Van Stomm." He said boringly as he pointed to the seat beside her. I watched as a tall, bulky, spiky brown haired guy walked to the front of the class. He was wearing red baggy pants that weren't log enough to be pants but were too long to be shorts and a black tee shirt with a skull on it. He was the guy that Andorea told me about.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(On my word, we will seize fate)  
**_

He slipped into the seat and flashed me a sly smile. I smiled back and watched as little by little he called names of the people who sat at their spots without complaining. He placed me in the very back of the class in the before last seat.

"Phineas Flynn." He said as he pointed to the seat beside me and I could feel myself stiffen. I didn't want him to sit beside me. Why couldn't I sit beside Andorea or Buford? He just had to make me sit beside the one person I didn't like.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(Destiny choked in our wage)**_

He walked to the front of the class and began explaining something about algebra but I understood absolutely none of it. Math has never been my subject.

I snuck a peek at Phineas to see he was writing in a notebook. I narrowed my eyes but curiosity got the best of me, so I ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook and wrote; "_What are you doing?" _before passing it to him. He read it and shot me a smile. "Writing lyrics to a new song my band is going to play." He told me out loud as he passed me the sheet.

_**Steadfast soldiers with hands of Gods  
And the numbers to succeed.  
We will persist until all that's left is a perfect sphere.  
Never a break in the chain,  
Never a folly of conviction,  
And may the traitors' ashes seal the barren landscape.**_

I scanned it and passed it back. "You have a band?" I asked him and he nodded "Yeah. We're called 'Smiling Burnage.'" I nodded and looked at the teacher who was too busy writing what we have to do by the end of the class to notice we were talking.

"What do you do and who's in it?" I asked him as I wrote down the pages of math we had to do. "I sing and play the guitar. Ferb plays the keyboards and helps with background vocals and helps with the technical stuff. Alex plays the bass and screams when it's needed. And Buford plays the drums. You should come see us play this weekend with Is." He told me and I nodded. I'd go but for the most part it was so I could see how musical Ferb is.

_**We are the end! **_

_**We are the end!**_

"Fine I'll go. How much is it going to cost me?" I sighed as I decided if it was overly expensive, I'm not going. "Well actually, we're playing at school during the dance this Friday, so it's going to cost you money to get in, but that's it." I nodded and turned back to the teacher. If I didn't pay attention, I was going to fail math, and that isn't something that's on my to-do list.

The bell rang and I packed my stuff up and walked towards Andorea and Buford who were talking about something. "Salutations." I said and Buford nodded. 'You're new hear, aren't you?" he asked me in a Mid-Atlantic accent. "Yeah." I told him as I listened to Andorea go on about how much math homework she had and how she was never going to be able to do anything fun for the next 3 months. I sighed at that remark but dealt with her hyperactive attitude anyways.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(On my word, we will seize fate)**_

I looked down at my schedule and noticed I had Technology, which I knew I had with Ferb, which made me smile. "Hey, new girl." Buford said. "Alika." I told him and he sighed. "Whatever. What do you have next?" I frowned but then smiled anyway. Andorea warned me he comes off strong at first. "Technology." I told him and he nodded. "Then never mind." He said as he slipped into French class.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(Destiny choked in our wage)**_

"Where's the tech lab?" I asked Andorea and she pointed down the hall. "Last class on your right with all the computers. Ferb's in that class with you, right?" She asked and I nodded before walking down the hall full of people.

_**Look around, look around.  
There's no affection, only infection.  
Search yourself, search yourself.  
Can I depend on you to surrender?  
Can I depend on you to surrender?**_

I walked in the tech lab and saw Ferb and Baljeet sitting beside each other with an empty seat beside Ferb. I walked over and sat down beside him and looked over. "How was Social Studies?" I asked and he shrugged. Baljeet smiled and looked at me. "Ferb is angry because the teacher compared him to his stepbrother." He explained and I nodded before looking at the blonde woman in a navy skirt and white tee shirt who was obviously the teacher watch the class fill up.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(On my word, we will seize fate)**_

The only reason I was glad was because after this, I have lunch.

_**Please tell me that this is the end of the world.  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods and leave nothing in our wake)  
It's time that we erase history  
(And we will strike with the arms of Gods)  
Without a trace or a memory  
(Destiny choked in our wage)**_

~Authors note: Ok, so the song in this chapter is called "we are the end" by Alexisonfire, it's one of my favorite songs! Anyways I hope you liked this chapter! Anything I should change? REVIEW!

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	3. Chapter 3: Save Our City

Authors Note: Ok so I wrote this before going to school, so of course it was a little rushed but I hope you like it anyways! Oh, and I wont update tomorrow because I'm hanging out with my friend Krystin and her friend, plus I have a party. So enjoy this chapter!

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is Chapter 3: Save Our City

Ferb, Baljeet and I paired up for the first class project. What did we have to do? Make something that floats in the air without you doing anything besides flicking a switch. Baljeet had no idea how to do anything. He may be extremely smart in math, but god was he dumb when it came to anything that involved technology and building. I got what we were supposed to do, and when told to do it, I could, but otherwise I starred at the contraption blankly.

_Mr. Mayor, the mission burns  
the zombies are marching, they close on the square  
Families are cold, look down at their souls  
huddled in camps on the old marble steps of City Hall  
Faith in their God, that's all that they've got  
Across the room, beyond the pane  
the whole world is churning, bleeding and burning, hailstorms and ash  
The moon is as blood  
over the soldiers who sag in the mud._

Baljeet looked close to tears. I put my hand on his shoulder and watched as Ferb worked on the machine. "Don't worry." I told him and he shook his head. "I'm a failure!" He whined as he put his hands on his head and lowered it in shame. "It might as well be the end of the world!" he said a little too loudly and people snapped their heads back to glare at him.

"Baljeet, I'd stop worrying. Your going to get a great grade, stop freaking out." I told him and he smiled slightly and went back to watching what Ferb was doing.

_Save our city  
Keep our souls, Lord  
Through the rapture  
of this world._

I felt bad for leaving Ferb with a huge part of the project but I didn't say anything. The last thing I wanted was him to agree with me and then make Baljeet and I do all the work with not even the slightest help from him. We'd fail for sure if that were the case.

_Little boy, I'm just a man, a mere civil servant  
against this tyrant God  
I've allied with our King, salvation he brings  
protecting the city against all the troops Heaven sent  
_

Ferb took a step back and pointed towards the paint and paintbrushes. I smiled at something I'd be able to help with and walked over to the paint shelf and choose Black and shiny metallic silver paints and a dozen paintbrushes and walking back to our table.

_but the dead walk again, this is the end.  
Oh I'm just a man, my time has come  
Long live King Simius! May he deliver us from this nightmare!  
And with a blast like the sun  
his lips are unwrapped from the barrel of his gun._

I passed the silver paint to Baljeet and took the black paint for myself. The base colour was going to be silver and the details all in black. "You don't, Ferb?" I asked and he nodded. I smiled and looked at Baljeet. "Are you capable of slapping silver paint so it's covering, um that, entirely?" I asked him and he nodded before dipping his paintbrush in the paint.

I sat down in my chair and waited for him to be done. I snuck a peek at Ferb to see was openly starring at me. I twitched a little in my chair and scratched my wrist. I felt really self-conscious.

_Save our city  
Keep our souls, Lord  
Through the rapture  
of this world._

He stopped nodding and smiled. Like I passed his test or something. I didn't enjoy it very much, but at least he was pleased with me. That was always something good right?

"What are you doing?" I asked when I decided I had enough. Ferb looked at me with deep emerald eyes and smiled. "Nothing you should worry about." He told me and I rolled my eyes. Obviously it was something I should worry about.

_Fought and fell for our great king  
we burned alive and boiled  
The dragon, red and wrathful calls  
We rise and march once more.  
Cursed in death, we starve for flesh  
Our skin is cooked and curled  
We'll eat our skin and smash them in  
In Hell, we'll grind their bones.  
_

Baljeet took a stepped back and threw his hand in the air in triumph. "Finished! Yay!" he said as he danced before sitting back down. I took the contraption that was supposed to look like a UFO (Ferb can build but he isn't a visionary) and started to paint any detail that would look cool, or was needed.

_Save our city  
Keep our souls, Lord  
Through the rapture  
of this world._

The bell rang and we weren't finished, but considering we have a whole other week to finish, I didn't think we did that bad. Ferb put it away and cleaned up the whole mess we made with the paint. Baljeet just acted like a total hyper loser while we did so, but at least that made me laugh.

_Save our city  
Keep our souls, Lord God  
Through the rapture  
of this world._

When we were down, we slipped out of the room and outside, where Andorea and Buford were outside waiting under a tree. Baljeet ran over and Ferb and I walked over without even hurrying up slightly.

_Save our city  
(Fought and fell for our great king)  
Keep our souls, Lord God  
(We burned alive and boiled)  
Through [the mayor's ruined head, the boy steps through the window] the  
rapture  
(The dragon, red and wrathful calls)  
of this world. [and cries out from the ledge to the people below.]  
(We rise and march once more.)_

Once we got there, Andorea waved out to a girl with blonde hair with blue tips to come over. She was short and had an extremely angular face. She was wearing a fedora (It's a hat, come on, Michael Jackson had one) with blue skinny jeans and a purple tee shirt with the word "Sarcasm" printed across the front. She walked over with a smile on her lips.

"Hi, I'm Marissa." She told me as she waved. I smiled and returned the wave before telling her, "My names Alika." I told her and she smiled before turning to Ferb. "Where are we going to eat today?" She asked and Ferb shrugged. I sighed before looking at Baljeet. "Where do you want to eat today?" Baljeet looked deep in thought before he threw his fist in the air. "Lets eat a subway!" He screamed and we all nodded before fallowing him to subway.

_Save our city [There's a time to pray and there's a time to fight]  
(Cursed in death, we starve for flesh)  
Keep our souls, Lord God [Anything can be a weapon if you're holding it  
right]  
_

When we got there, Buford made a comment about it being lame but shared a table with us anyways. Once we got out food, Baljeet lowered his head in shame so he could ask, "This is lame isn't it?"

Ferb and I shook our heads while Andorea and Marissa told him, "I wouldn't worry about it Baljeet. It's not like your Phineas." Baljeet raised his hand with a small smile on his tan face while Ferb looked like he could punch something out. I guess he really didn't like being compared, or anybody being compared, to his stepbrother.

_**(Our skin is cooked and curled)  
Through the rapture [Defend what is yours, they will not take our souls]  
(We'll eat our skin and smash them in)  
and so we [it's time now to] rise and fight!**_

When we were done eating, we slipped back onto school grounds and spent the nest 10 minutes talking under a tree. Baljeet and Andorea talked to each other, while Marissa and Buford talked to themselves, so I talked to Ferb while he listened.

"You don't talk much do you?" I asked as he opened is book. "Well people never really care to listen." He told me and then looked over at me. "Most people don't even listen to what I saw after they ask me if I talk a lot." He added quietly and I nodded. I don't think I would have been able to live in silence like he, but I guess if I was him, I wouldn't have much of a choice.

_Save our city!  
Keep our souls, Lord!  
Rise now and fight!_

Authors note: And that was the latest chapter! The song is "save Our City" By Ludo, and I love it! It's a great song! Hope you liked it! Please tell me if you did or not in a review!

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	4. Chapter 4: Weightless

Authors Note: Holy Hell! I can't believe I didn't update all that time! I have a very good explanation though, I fell out of my school bus and hit my head on the steps and bruised my arms and legs up really bad, took 3 steps inside the school, and then fainted for 5 minutes, so I wasn't in the right mind to write. But now I'm back to my update really fast habits and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is Chapter 4: Weightless

The bell rang and I watched as all of the kids made their way towards the door. I looked over at Ferb who was looking at me. "What do we have?" I asked loudly so I could be heard. "Music." I sighed before getting up and dragging myself through the door. I was the person who listened to music, I couldn't read it or write it or play it for that matter.

_**Manage me, I'm a mess  
Turn a page, I'm a book  
Half unread  
**_

Ferb dragged me into class and I saw that Phineas and Buford where in my class as well. I took a seat in between Buford and Ferb and waited for the extremely skinny brunette teacher who couldn't be more then 30 put things away.

_**I wanna be laughed at  
Laughed with, just because**_

The teacher turned around and I was actually startled to see she had round glasses. Like the kind they wore when my parent's were young, maybe even before that.

_**I wanna feel weightless  
And that should be enough**_

"Ok class, I see lots of familiar faces, but also 2 or 3 I've never met, so I'm going to skip the boring back stories and just go on to the fact that my name is Mrs. Kaylea Costanzo, which is pronounced Kay-lee even if it's spelt with an a, and I'm your music teacher." She wrote her name down on the board and a few people said hi to her.

_**But I'm stuck in this fucking rut  
Waiting on a second hand pick me up  
And I'm over, getting older**_

"Ok, first things first, I would appreciate it if the members of Smiling Burnage would step up and give us a demonstration of Danville music." She said as she waved her hand towards the set up she had obviously been planning for a while now.

_**If I could just find the time  
Then I would never let another day go by  
I'm over, getting old**_

Ferb, Phineas, Buford, a tall, skinny blonde guy with hair down to his shoulders with a black bandana, smothering grey eyes who was wearing normal not-too-tight skinny jeans and a black dress shirt with a red tie and a tall came up. I was guessing the blonde guy was Alex.

_**Maybe it's not my weekend  
But it's gonna be my year  
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere  
And this is my reaction  
To everything I fear  
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here**_

I waited patiently for them to start playing. I was ready. I was waiting for the oddest thing that could happen, but all that did happen, was that they started playing the song "weightless" By All Time Low, which really wasn't that weird and sounded great with the added keyboard effect.

_**Make believe that I impress  
That every word  
By design  
Turns a head**_

When the song was done, they made their way back to their seats and Mrs. Kaylea took over the spotlight. "See? Completely and utterly talented. One day, they will be stars! I just know it!" She said in a really typical over-excited teenage way. I sighed and saw Ferb nodding his head in agreement with me, not with her. I was going to have to remember to ask him about that later.

_**I wanna feel reckless  
I wanna live it up, just because**_

"Ok, so what does everybody want to play this year?" She asked excitedly as she went around the classroom with a clipboard writing everything down. Personally, I didn't want to play an instrument at all. It just wasn't my thing.

_**I wanna feel weightless  
Cause that would be enough**_

I watched the clock. Fallowing every movement with my eyes. 30 minutes until the class is finished. I can deal with that. I think…

"Your Alika, right?" She asked in a generally happy tone. I nodded and she smiled. "Ok, so what do you want to play for ½ the school year?" She asked in a bubbly tone. She reminded me of those really weird ultra-happy teenager people that always made me want to puke, and I doubt that was a good thing, but she was still a nice teacher. "The saxophone?" I asked as I thought of the first instrument that came to my head. She smiled and nodded before moving unto the next person.

_**If I could just find the time  
Then I would never let another day go by  
I'm over, getting old**_

I turned to Ferb and saw that he was talking to Alex about something. What it was, I wasn't sure, and I doubted I wanted to know, but this didn't occur to me right then so I spent the entire time pondering on what I was going to do when I got home.

_**Maybe it's not my weekend  
But it's gonna be my year  
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere  
And this is my reaction  
To everything I fear  
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here**_

The bell rang and I jumped out of class and ran towards my locker. I had history, which was with Ferb, but I wanted to get out of that classroom before I upchucked my guts out. Why weren't things easy?

I took a seat beside Marissa and Andorea and watched as the kids filled up the class. The bell rang and I didn't see the teacher anywhere. Most people just ignored that and wait back to whatever they were doing, but I had to be a total loser and had to look around for her as good as I can while still be sitting at my seat.

_**This could be all that I've waited for  
(I've waited, I've waited for)  
And this could be everything  
I don't wanna dream anymore**_

The classroom door opened and Ferb slipped in. He was obviously late but I doubt he was going to get in trouble just because of the fact that the teacher was nowhere to be seen.

Ferb took the seat beside Marissa and looked around the class too. Obviously he was noticing that there was no teacher in the glass too.

_**Maybe it's not my weekend  
But it's gonna be my year  
And I've been going crazy  
I'm stuck in here**_

I sighed and took a good look around the class before deciding that this was extremely pointless. I knew the entire class was going to spend the entire time talking and texting unless some sort of teacher got their ass in the classroom right now.

_**Maybe it's not my weekend  
But it's gonna be my year (it's gonna be my year)  
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere (go nowhere)  
And this is my reaction  
To everything I fear (everything I fear)**_

I sighed before getting up from my seat and walking to the front of the class. "Does anybody have and idea where the teacher is?" I asked and everybody gave me empty stares. "Why would you want to know where a teacher is? We get to talk if they aren't here. besides, Mrs. Wasson is always late. You just wait and see." Says a black haired goth girl in the back of the class. I nod and walk by to my seat and sigh. This was going to be a long class to have at the end of the day.

_**Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here**_

~Authors note: Once again, I'm super sorry! I wont make you wait that long ever again! Promise! Song was Weightless by All Time low, like I mentioned in the chapter! Anyways Review!

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	5. Chapter 5: Spiders

**~Authors Note: So frigging sorry! I was completely utterly grounded, and I had a breakdown, and I fainted and it's been really busy and bad for me and I couldn't bring myself to update, and that's completely my fault. I'm sorry. Please enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 5: Spiders

I wasn't a patient kid to start. It's not like I really enjoyed waiting for things when they're right in front of me. Why wait if you could have it immediately? I never really understood that, but whatever, there was lot's of things I didn't understand. One of them is how a teacher could be 45 minutes late for their own class.

The piercing radiant moon,  
The storming of poor June,

Yes, Mrs. Wasson was 45 minutes late for her class. I almost got up and made a couple of kids read the history books but decided against it. They were going to think I was weird soon enough, why speed up the process?

When the fat, blonde teacher walked into the class, I almost threw up. She smelt like a mix of fish and manure. How the fuck do you smell that bad? She was wearing way too baggy shirts and pants, so beyond the fact she was already fat, it made her look extremely overweight.

_**All the life running through her hair,  
Approaching guiding light,**_

And I'll openly admit that I hated her with every ounce of my soul. I didn't know how I was going to survive this class, let alone the entire year. See it was things just like that that bugged me the most. I said that twice. I always hated that.

"I'm sorry for being late. Anyway, your homework is to read pages 15 through 25 about ancient Rome. Test will be next Thursday so be prepared. I don't give second chances." She told us as she sipped her double mocha fudge carefully. I really just wanted to yell at her and tell her to get a job she's good at like a professional fat guy actor in the movies.

_**Our shallow years in fright,  
Dreams are made winding through my head,**_

The bell rang and I grabbed a book as fast as I could. I nodded good-bye to Ferb, Andorea and Marissa before slipping out of the room towards my locker. I really didn't want to go home to Jillian and Brad (my parents) screaming at each other. What was the fun in that? If I wanted to see two people yelling back and forth at each other random insults, I'd go on facebook, not to my home.

_**Through my head,  
Before you know, Awake,**_

I walked out towards me car. It wasn't anything special. It was just a shitty car that I got for cheap. I really did need a car when I moved here though. I wasn't going to exclude myself from the rest of the world and hide in my room any more. That was no fun at all.

I drove home and got out at 17 maple street. This was where I lived, in the ghetto (if that's even close to what you would call it) of Danville. That just goes to show how cool I am, not very.

_**Your lives are open wide,  
The V-chip gives them sight,  
All the life running through her hair,**_

I open my door and slowly walk up to the house. I didn't know what to expect. Would they be fighting? Would they make a cheap and fake effort for my first day of school? Would they be ignoring each other? Who knew? I didn't, that was for sure. Even though, I was the one that probably needed to know the most.

I opened the door and I heard the yelling. "You are good for nothing! It was your idea to move here in the first place!" Screamed Jillian. Oh, and don't ask about the entire calling my parents by their first names. It's a story I might tell later, but not right now.

_**The spiders all in tune,  
The evening of the moon,**_

"You were the one that came here with me! Don't try to blame this completely on me! I did nothing wrong!" Yelled Brad angrily. I sighed and put on a cheerful smile on my face, "DAD! MOM! I'm home!" I yelled so they might hear me and shut the hell up. I was guessing they weren't going to work that easily this time. I sighed again and walked into the kitchen. I just needed to distract Jillian with food. "What's for supper?" I yelled as I opened the fridge. All I saw even remotely edible was left over take out pizza, and even that would taste disgusting by now.

_**Dreams are made winding through my head,**_

"How about we got out for supper, hunny?" Jillian said as she walked into the room. She had pink and lighter brown hair that was on the borderline of being blonde. I faked a smile and nodded before watching Brad come in with a frown on his face. "You treat her better then you do me." He said with anger and annoyance filling each word. I decided I should get Jillian out of the house before she says something that ticks him off and he says something he can't take back. "Supper would be great. Wendy's?" I asked curiously since when ever Jillian and I ate out, it was always Wendy's.

_**Through my head,  
Before you know, Awake**_

"Wendy's it is then. Bye Brad." She said as she grabbed her purse and glared at him. He sighed and walked out of the room while grumbling. I fallowed Jillian out and into her red car. She had a smug smile on her face. "Why you so happy?" I asked slightly worriedly. She doesn't ever smile like that unless she's doing something evil. I think we all know what she was up to just now.

_**Through my head,through my head  
Before you know,  
Before you know I will be waiting all awake,**_

"I won one." She said as her smile grew and I sighed. Out of all the fights they've ever had, Brad always wins because he has better arguments.

_**Dreams are made winding through her hair,**_

"How was your first day of school?" She asked me as we started to drive. I sighed and thought about what the positives thigns were that I could tell her. "I met some interesting people and found out I like the English teacher. She's really nice." She nodded and smiled. "So who are the interesting people? Are they hot?" I shot her an odd gaze before sighing. This is where I lie and tell her no. This is where I tell her that their all ugly losers.

_**Dreams are made winding through her hair.**_

"Yeah, actually there's a really cute British guy named Ferb. He's really quiet."

~Authors note: Song was Spiders by System of a down. It's one of my favorite songs by them. I hope you liked it! Please review!

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	6. Chapter 6: Born Like this

**~Authors Note: Salutations! What the hell is up? I know I don't get many reviews for this story, but I still love it! 8D! Anyways I'll probably be updating faster because I'm almost done my Alice in Wonderland fanfic and my Sweeney Todd one (did I tell u that? I think I told u that) Anyways Enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 6: Born Like this

"Really now? I think I work with his mom. Ferb Flynn?" She asked curiously and I shook my head. "No. That's his stepbrother's last name though. His is Fletcher." Jillian nodded before parking and looking at me. "You hungry?" She asked and I nodded before we both jumped out of the car and into Wendy's.

_**It's not what I took from you  
It's not what I stole  
We are born like this  
Like this!**_

We walked in and I spotted Phineas immediately. He was sitting in the table furthest away from the door and the counter with a group of his friends. I recognized Ferb and Alex amongst them.

_**The time has come to change this  
To stretch the thought a mile  
We've lost that kind of spirit  
We want it back today**_

Jillian walked up to the counter and ordered 2 double bacon cheeseburgers with fries and pop before letting me pick the table.

Being aware that they were their made me want to sit by them, but also further then I was able to in this room. Which was right beside the counter.

_**The time is right to change this  
To make the life we know  
They took what we were given  
We'll get it back again**_

She looked at me slightly funny for picking this seat but shrugged. I was guessing she either already knew I was peculiar or she just didn't want to ask and get into an actually conversation. "Is that him?" She asked as she moved her chin in Phineas and Ferb's direction. I guess it was the first. "Yeah. Don't say anything. Don't embarrass me." I told her annoyed as I started to eat. She stared at them for a moment before saying. "The red head is a real looker, don't you think?" I shuddered and finished off my burger and fries.

_**Somewhere, someone's gun  
someone's gun is laughing  
It's not what I gave to you  
It's not what I stole**_

"He's pretty obnoxious." I told her as I sipped my drink. "Aren't all men?" It was a theoretical question, but I answered anyway, "No, just the large majority." She nodded before eating her burger and keeping a close eye on them. I didn't even want to know what was going on in her head.

_**We are born like this  
It's not what I took from you  
It's not what I stole  
We are born like this**_

I finished my drink and slipped out of Wendy's I didn't want to risk them seeing me. But as I walk out, I feel eyes on my back, and I'm not sure if it was Jillian or if it was Phineas and Ferb.

I walk to the car and unlock it before slipping inside the shotgun seat and waiting for her to be done eating. I could see her seat and theirs from here, so I'd know if she did anything funny or anything embarrassing.

_**You try your best to mock me  
You're always in my way  
You've lost what you've been given  
You'll get it back today**_

Jillian walked out of Wendy's and ran towards the car with anger written all over her face. She opened the door and sat down. "That was very disrespectful, hun." She told me as she started to drive. I nodded and looked out the window. "You're supposed to wait before leaving. Your just like your father." She told me and something inside me snapped. For too long I've listened to them yell at each other and say I'm just like the other. Well no more. I will not take it anymore. "If you hate him so much why don't you get a fucking divorce instead of yelling at each other around me!" I yelled as I glared at her with as much raw fury I could find within myself.

"Excuse me? Don't use that tone with me young lady! What me and your father do doesn't concern you!" She yelled back as she tried to keep her eyes on the road. I growled (Yeah, that's right, I growled) at her and spat the words, "It does when you're my fucking parents, dumb ass!"

_**The time is right to change this  
To make the life we know  
They took what we were given  
We want it back again**_

She lift her hand from the steering wheel before setting it back down. "Watch your language and shut up." She told me in one of those fake calm voices that parents use when you piss them off too much and too far.

_**Somewhere, someone's gun  
someone's gun is laughing  
It's not what I gave to you  
It's not what I stole**_

I sat there in silence until we got to out house. Once we were there, I ripped the door open and stomped into my room. Finding reassurances in the lime green and black walls.

My room was medium size and I had my own bathroom. The walls were lime green with black random stripes through them in no pattern. There was white carpet and at the moment, all except for my computer desk, my dresser with the mirror connected, my double bed and my writing desk were packed away in boxes.

_**We are born like this  
It's not what I took from you  
It's not what I stole  
We are born like this**_

I ripped on open and found my blankets, bed sheets, pillows and my stuffed animals. Ok, I've realized I'm too old to have these, but I only had 5. 1 was a bunny that I got when I was a baby; the second was a doll with long black hair and a blood red strapless dress on with a stitched mouth and button eyes; the third was a doll with a skull face, button eyes and a black ripped tux on; the fourth was a normal lion until I learned how to apply eyeliner. Now he was an emo lion with "scars" and eyeliner; the last was a dolphin, just a normal plain bottlenose dolphin that I got a few summers ago.

_**Somewhere... You're floating high you're not living we are  
Somewhere, someone's gun, someone's gun is laughing, laughing**_

I set them on the carpet before taking the sheets out of the box and making my bed. My sheets and pillowcases were white with black spider webs while all my blankets were actually quilts that my grandmother made me. I know, it doesn't match, I'm aware of this and I honest to god don't care.

_**It's not what I gave to you  
It's not what I stole  
We are born like this**_

Once my bed was made, I jumped unto it and put my head under the pillows before letting the tears fall down my cheeks. I grabbed my iPod from my dresser and slipped the buds in my ears while blaring the song "Born like this" By Three days grace.

_**It's not what I gave to you  
It's not what I stole  
We are born like this**_

When the song ended I wiped my tears and turned towards my room. There was more then a dozen boxes that needed to be unpacked. I sighed when I realized that crying was counterproductive and decided to unpack some boxes instead.

_**It's not what I took from you  
It's not what I stole**_

I was really hoping it would take my mind off things. Sadly, it really didn't.

_**We are born like this**_

~_**Authors note: so that was the newest addition! I hope you liked it! Are you guys ok with my choice of songs or should I pick others? Anything I should change? What's the stuff you like most? Tell me in a review! Right, song is "Born like this" By Three days grace! Review!**_

_**Peace in!**_

_**Mel Swirls!**_


	7. Chapter 7: I don't care

**~Authors Note: Salutations Bitches, bastards, ladies, gentlemen and Chris Crockers (lol Shananay quote) what's up? Sorry for not updating sooner, I really do try my best but I've been getting into drawing anime and yeah, always fun and time consuming. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter! **

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 7: I don't care

3 hours later, I found myself in a completely unpacked room. And it wasn't as rewarding as I initially thought it would be. What a fucking waste of my time.

I let myself fall onto my bed and curl up beneath the blankets. I was still in my clothes, but I was so tired that I was about ready to fall asleep anyways. I felt my eyelids become heavier with every passing minute before they shut and I drifted to sleep.

_**Say my name and his in the same breath  
I dare you to say they taste the same  
Let the leaves fall off in the summer  
And let December glow in flames**_

_~Dream~_

_I was at a concert and the music was pounding. This wasn't just any concert though, this was one of those hardcore punk band concerts where all the emo kids vent their rage. This was the kind of concert that only huge bands played at… like Green Day and the Sex Pistols._

_**Brace myself and let go  
Start it over again in Mexico  
These friends, they don't love you  
They just love the hotel suites now**_

_The band's singer had bright red hair and was excitedly jumping around on the stage. It was wild. The rest of the band seemed muted out compared to him. It was like this was his stage and he knew he belonged rocking his white ass off with that red electric guitar of his. _

_**I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

_There was another guy on stage that I noticed within a heartbeat. His shaggy, bright green hair that covered almost entirely one eye and tall, lean body made him hard not to see. He was gorgeous. He was playing the keyboards and he rocked. I don't think I've ever seen anyone with a more beautiful stage presence. He was beautiful. He was frigging amazing. _

_The green haired guy and redhead seemed so familiar. Where did I know them? The green haired guy grabbed the microphone and looked at the crowd with love in his eyes, "This song is for Alika." He said with a velvety British accent. I screamed before running up to the stage and (with the help of a blonde guy wearing a black bandana) got up on stage. I knew this people, but from where?_

_**Said I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

_I kissed the green haired guy and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Happy second year, Ferb." I told him before he kissed me. "Ferb is a man of action, not of many words!" Screamed the redhead as he started to play the guitar. This was my song. It was for me, from Ferb and it meant everything to me. _

_I let him go and it hit me. This green haired guy was Ferb, the redhead was Phineas, the blonde guy was Alex and that tough guy over there was Buford. This was Smiling Burnage. This was my second year with Ferb Fletcher. _

_**Oh take a chance  
Let your body get a tolerance  
I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants  
Pull a breath like another cigarette  
Palms up, I'm trading 'em (trading 'em)**_

_~Reality~_

When I opened my eyes I was in my bedroom. Everything was normal. There was no concert, no Ferb, and definitely no Phineas. I was alone in my dark room.

I looked at my alarm clock and noticed it was 3 minutes before 6:30 in the morning. It was time I got up and ready for school.

_**I'm the oracle in my chest  
Let the guitar scream like a fascist  
Sweat it out, shut your mouth  
Free love on the streets  
But in the alley I ain't that cheap, now**_

I slipped out of bed and unplugged my alarm clock. I didn't want it going off while I was in the shower and still after 6 years of having the same alarm clock, I still don't know how to use it properly.

I slipped into the shower and washed my hair with my odd supposed-to-smell-like-strawberries-but-instead-smells-like-mangos shampoo and conditioner before washing myself. When I got out I wrapped a towel around my body and looked at myself in the mirror.

_**I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

I had a really ugly nose, and bad eyebrows. I should start plucking them. I shuddered at the memory of what happened last time I plucked my eyebrows. It wasn't enjoyable and it really did hurt…despite what my cousins, aunts and mom said.

_**Said I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

I looked at my body and noticed for the first time just how flat I was. I wasn't really skinny, but I wasn't curvy either. I was like some weird thing in the middle. Skinvy… no actually that sounds kind of wrong. I think I'm good on the body type name.

_**Said-a, I don't care just a-what you think  
As long as it's about me  
You said I don't care just what you think  
As long as it's about me**_

I sighed before getting dressed in a plaid red and black hoodie, white skinny jeans with drawings made from sharpie all over it and purple skateboarding shoes with black and white plaid laces. I curled my hair and put the very little amount of make up I wear on my face before walking out of the bathroom and in the kitchen.

_**Said-a I don't care (I don't care)  
Said I don't care (I don't care)  
Said I don't care,  
I don't care  
I don't care (I don't care)  
I said-a  
I don't care  
I don't care**_

I fixed myself some breakfast, which was easy considering all I wanted was toast with peanut butter on it before waving to Brad. "Did you sleep well?" he asked curiously and I nodded before slipping into my room and looking at myself in the mirror there.

_**I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

I noticed right then how obsessed I am with the way I look and what people think of me. Am I really this shallow? Have I sunken this low? Please tell me I haven't become like the type of people I hate.

_**I don't care what you think  
As long as it's about me**_

I told myself right then that I shouldn't be so obsessed with my looks. They really aren't that important. Who cares what people say? It's just me and I should let them talk. It's not like anything horrible can come from it.

_**The best of us can find happiness in misery**_

I grabbed my school bag and slipped out the door with confidence I never felt before.

~**Authors note: Ok so I hope you liked that chapter! The song is "I don't care" by Fallout boy! I hope you liked it! And if you didn't, tell me why so I can fix it! Review!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	8. Chapter 8: Ignorance

**~Authors Note: Gondorprimalayon! (10 points for anybody who knows where that's from and what it means)! What's up? My life has been pretty damn good if I say so myself. I have a dance tomorrow. It's going to be awesome! Anyways, enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 8: Ignorance

I pulled in to the school parking lot and turned my car off.

I scanned the schoolyard for somebody I know or/and for someone I consider my friend. At the first glance I had no such luck.

I slipped out of my car slowly before walking towards the place I saw Ferb for the first time. I saw the popular people and I noticed that Phineas was there and he looked as excited and hyped up as ever. He turned around to talk to Isabella when he saw me, smiled and ran over.

_**If I'm a bad person, you don't like me  
I guess I'll make my own way  
it's a circle  
a mean cycle  
I can't excite you anymore  
where's your gavel? Your jury?**_

"Hey Alika. Why are ya' sitting here all on your own? You know you can always hang out with me! Doesn't even matter if your ulterior motive is sex. You're actually quite hot you know." He told me in that too excited, flirty tone of his and I nodded suspiciously before looking around again. I didn't see Baljeet, Buford, Ferb, Andorea or Marissa for that matter and I was starting to wonder where the hell they were. Did they just decide to ditch and not tell me about it?

_**What's my offense this time?  
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me  
well sentence me to another life.**_

"Please shut up and leave me alone. By the way where's Ferb?" I tell Phineas in an overly exaggerated annoyed tone. I really was getting annoyed with him. He didn't have to come over here and talked to me. "Computer lab with everybody else. It's what they nerds do every morning. Well, almost, sometimes they hang out at the library or the music or art room." Phineas said with a shrug before flashing a brilliant smile my way. "Do you want me to show you were it is?" He asks and I sigh before nodding. I wanted to hang out with them but I had no idea where any of those things were. Just my luck.

_**Don't wanna hear your sad songs  
I don't wanna feel your pain  
when you swear it's all my fault  
cause you know we're not the same,**_

I got up and fallowed Phineas inside of the school. It was actually rather calming with nobody else but the 2 of us. I kind of liked his silence and the way he knew everything about everyone. He was still overly annoying and completely too energetic, but he wasn't ½ bad for anybody else.

_**We're not the same  
oh we're not the same  
yeah, the friends who stuck together  
we wrote our names in blood**_

He pointed to a door that had the words "computer lab" printed in the front. He smiled a cocky smile and winked at me suggestively before saying, "There you go, Mi' lady. If they ever get boring, I'm there for you." I rolled my eyes dramatically and sighed before slipping into the computer lab.

_**but i guess you can't accept that the change is good (hey)  
it's good (hey)  
it's good**_

I wasn't really sure what I was expecting, but basically, it was a room full of desktop computers on this metal desk. It was very cold and I would have kept thinking that if it wasn't for the fact that chairs were all pulled up in a circle and 5 kids were sitting upon them.

_**You treat me just like another stranger  
well it's nice to meet you sir  
I guess I'll go  
I best be on my way out**_

Marissa was the first to notice me. She was wearing a black fedora, jean capri pants, lime green combat boots and a black tee shirt with a smiley face with his tongue sticking out on it. She waved and smiled. "Hey Alika. I must say it's about time." She told me playfully. The rest of them looked up. Marissa was probably the different kid in the group. The one who never decided on a social clique.

**you treat me just like another stranger**  
**well it's nice to meet you sir**  
**I guess I'll go**  
**I best be on my way out**

**Ignorance is your new best friend**

**Ignorance is your new best friend**

Andorea was wearing black short shorts, an orange tank top and that weird converse shoe that goes up to your knees, are yellow and are high heels. She was obviously the whore of the group, but she was the good kind of whore.

_**This is the best thing that could've happened  
any longer and i wouldn't have made it  
it's not a war no, it's not a rapture  
I'm just a person but you can't take it  
the same tricks that, that once fooled me  
they won't get you anywhere  
I'm not the same kid from your memory  
well now I can fend for myself**_

Baljeet was looking like a total nerd in his buttoned-up-the-entire-way purple and white long-sleeved plaid shirt and normal jeans. It was odd that he was going out with Andorea, she was the whore, and he was the nerd. That kind of shit didn't happen anywhere else.

Buford was wearing camo cargo pants and a grey tee shirt with a bright red 'x' in the middle of it. He was looking extremely tough and I had to admit that it was slightly scaring me.

_**Don't wanna hear your sad songs  
I don't wanna feel your pain  
when you swear it's all my fault  
cause you know we're not the same,  
we're not the same  
oh we're not the same**_

Ferb, the oh-so-gorgeous, Ferb, was wearing tight black skinny jeans with a Slipknot tee shirt and an Alexisonfire sweater. He must have like endless piles of band merchandise in his room. His green hair was perfectly shading off parts of his deep green eyes and his black converse brought out his pale skin perfectly. He was perfect.

_**yeah, we used to stick together  
we wrote our names in blood  
but I guess you can't accept that the change is good (hey)  
it's good (hey)  
it's good**_

I pulled a chair up beside Ferb and smiled. "So anything new?" I asked them feeling right at home. I don't think I've ever felt this easy with people I just met. It doesn't happen a lot where you can just be who you want to be around complete strangers. I liked this new feeling of accomplishment. It felt good to be around people who wanted to be with me.

**you treat me just like another stranger**  
**well it's nice to meet you sir**  
**i guess i'll go**  
**i best be on my way out**

**you treat me just like another stranger**

"Well, there's a new couple among us." Said Andorea playfully before winking at Baljeet who then straightened nervously. I was honestly curious. Were Marissa and Buford going out now? They looked like an ok couple I guess. Well, I suppose it would be almost as weird as Andorea and Baljeet.

_**well it's nice to meet you sir  
i guess i'll go  
i best be on my way out**_

"And who would that be?" I asked with a smile forming my face. Marissa started blushing and grabbed Ferb's hand.

**Ignorance is your new best friend**  
**Ignorance is your new best friend**

I cracked then. Not visually though. You couldn't tell I cracked. Was this why Ferb was treating me like he didn't even know me? Was he judging me? I have to react soon before someone realizes I actually like him.

**Ignorance is your new best friend**

**Ignorance is your new best friend**

"Oh, that's awesome. Congratulations!" I said in a fake happy tone. I just wanted to leave now. If he was treating me like a stranger and judging me, I could judge him too and treat him the same, right? I could just leave right now and make my life that much easier. Ditching the pain that they would obviously make me feel. Wait, for the judging thing, I kind of did that earlier didn't I? Maybe I should watch what I worry about…

**you treat me just like another stranger**  
**well it's nice to meet you sir**  
**i guess i'll go**  
**i best be on my way out**

"I'll be right back" I told them with a fake and reassuring smile on my face before walking out of the computer lab.

**you treat me just like another stranger**  
**well it's nice to meet you sir**  
**i guess i'll go**  
**i best be on my way out**

**~Authors note: so? Thoughts? I hope you liked it! The song is Ignorance by Paramore which is my newly discovered band that I really like! It took me quite awhile to write so if you don't like it then be nice and pretend you do because I don't accept flames. Review though please!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel swirls! **


	9. Chapter 9: Snuff

**~Authors Note: Salutations people! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. It's been a very emotional, pointless and angry week for me. It's been rather suck-ish actually. How was yours? Anyways, please enjoy chapter 9, the song used is my all time favorite song by SlipKnot but also my second favorite song of all time. I have incorporated the meaning into the chapter but if you still don't know, inbox me. Enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 9: Snuff

_**Bury all your secrets in my skin.  
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins.**_

I ran outside to my car and got in the back before covering myself with the red blanket I kept at all times in my car.

_**The air around me still feels like a cage  
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...**_

I've realized that in most books, this is the part where the girl starts to cry, but no matter how hard I tried (and believe me, I tried) I couldn't, under any circumstances, cry. It just wasn't coming to me today. Maybe that was a good thing, if I went to class, I doubt I wanted red blotches all over my face…fuck, that would be so attractive (and if you haven't guessed yet, that was said sarcastically.)

_**So if you love me, let me go.  
And run away before I know.**_

I'm such a Mary-Sue. I know a guy for one day, and he goes out with a girl and I go ballistic. This is madness... This is Sparta…I have to stop letting my thoughts wonder. It doesn't do me any good.

_**My heart is just too dark to care.  
I can't destroy what isn't there.**_

The bell rang and I debated with myself over getting out of the car. Should I go to school and face them? It would be less suspicious, but than again, I don't want to have to put up with them being lovey-dovey. I gagged at that thought before wrapping the blanket around me tighter and grabbing my cell phone. I call the front desk at my school and pretended to be my mother telling them I was going to be sick.

The good thing about pretending to be sick with me; is that I have the exact same voice as my mom, so they can't tell the difference.

_**Deliver me into my Fate -  
If I'm alone I cannot hate**_

When I thought all the teachers and people were inside, I started my car and drove away. I was so annoyed with myself that I just decided to go home. I didn't even know any kool hang out places, and since Jillian and Brad wont be home, I might as well wonder my ass over there for a bit.

_**I don't deserve to have you...  
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago,  
If I can change I hope I never know.**_

I thought about Ferb and Marissa. They were going to be a cute couple. I was happy for them, but that didn't mean I wasn't insanely jealous. I really liked Ferb, but it was I, and if he and I were together, I'd fuck it up. I always did. The 3 other guys I went out with were slimy, pigs, could Ferb turn out to be the same way? Or would he be insanely nice and than I'd be the one to fuck it up by saying something stupid like I love him.

Shit, I just thought that, didn't I?

_**I still press your letters to my lips  
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.**_

I pulled into my driveway and ran out of my car before jumping into my house and slipping into my room. I fell on my bed and the tears still weren't coming, but the fact still remained. I still loved him.

_**I couldn't face a life without your light,  
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight.**_

What the hell was I going to do? I could love him, let him now and probably hurt him and me, or I could just let him move on and not make him fall into my pit of sadness. But he could quite possibly like me back, right? Wait, why would he like me? I'm not pretty and I'm plain and dark. I'm boring and he's brilliant. Why would he like me?

_**So save your breath, I will not care.  
I think I made it very clear.  
You couldn't hate enough to love.  
Is that supposed to be enough?**_

I crawled out of my bed and reached for my Ipod. Time to drown thoughts out before I start to let my thoughts hurt me. I put it on shuffle and the song "snuff" by Slipknot comes on and immediately I feel worst. From all the times I've listened to this song, and all the times I got a group of friends over and we googled it's meaning, we always found out it was a song about his ex-wife that he loved so much that he told her to leave him because he was ad druggie and he didn't want to make her life miserable too. It was about leaving what you thought was best for yourself and giving it all up for the one you love. He gave up love for her. Was I giving up love for Ferb?

_**I only wish you weren't my friend.  
Then I could hurt you in the end.**_

What a crazy thought. I hadn't even considered that possibility, although I guess that's what it could be, but if it was, than why the hell was I debating with myself whether or not I was right? Shouldn't I feel sure I was doing the right thing?

_**I never claimed to be a Saint...  
Ooh, my own was banished long ago,  
It took the Death of Hope to let you go**_

I got out of my bed and snuck downstairs and grabbed myself a frozen ice cream sandwich from the freezer before slipping into the living room. I looked out the window pointlessly. I was just stalling for time now. Sooner or later, I'd get so bored here that I'll force myself to go back to school, and then I'll have to face the truth. The truth being that I had to get over him because he didn't like me, he liked Marissa, and why wouldn't he? She was really awesome. But she wasn't amazing.

_**So break yourself against my stones  
And spit your pity in my soul.**_

Ferb Fletcher, now he was amazing. He had everything. Talent, hope, brilliance, looks, smarts. I couldn't help being jealous of Marissa. It was completely normal. But whom am I trying to convince that to? Them or me?

_**You never needed any help...  
You sold me out to save yourself...**_

I walked back into my room and shut the door before grabbing the book "tweaked" by Katherine Hulubitsky before sitting down on my bed and starting to read.

_**And I won't listen to your shame.  
You ran away, you're all the same.**_

I knew I could be doing better things, like reading into the next chapter in science or something, but I wasn't in the mood.

_**Angels lie to keep control...  
Ooh, my love was punished long ago,**_

If anybody ever asks, and hopefully they wont, I never liked Ferb, but I wont lie to myself. The truth is, I love him more then anything else, but I need to make sure he's happy before I can start with my own happiness.

_**If you still care, don't ever let me know...**_

I just hope my heart can take it.

_**If you still care, don't ever let me know...**_

**Authors note: So? Thoughts? Come on people! Review please! Anyways If you don't understand what the song "snuff" is about, inbox me, also, the book  
"Tweaked" is actually amazing! Anyways review please!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	10. Chapter 10: Vermillion pt 2

**~Authors Note: Heylo! Ok, I'm sorry for placing 2 slipknot songs in this fanfic in a row, it's just that 1) I love slipknot and 2) they fit with the story, which, if you haven't noticed, is what I'm trying to do now (I wasn't really doing it before) anyways please enjoy this chapter! **

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is

Chapter 9: Vermillion pt. 2

An entire day passed and I found myself looking at the Danville high school. I didn't want to go back, but I knew I had to or things would get really suspicious. And it already was extremely suspicious.

_**She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame.  
All the torment and the pain  
Leaked through and covered me**_

I walked in and saw Marissa sitting under a tree. I sighed and walked over with a fake smile plastered on my face. She didn't return the smile. She seemed for distant than she usually did.

_**I'd do anything to have her to myself  
Just to have her for myself**_

"Why weren't you at school yesterday? You blew off an entire day." She said and the statement took me by shock. I thought she of all people would be the one to say "hi" and pretend nothing happened. "I was sick." I told her and she shook her head. "Now you weren't. You like Ferb." She stated again and I glared at her. I never told her, she shouldn't know.

_**Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad**_

"How did you figure it out?" I asked as I sit down beside her. "The way you look at him. You don't look at him like a friend. It's the same look Isabella gives Phineas when she thinks no ones looking. You might even love him," She explained and I took a deep breath. I didn't even think it would be that obvious.

_**She is everything to me  
The unrequited dream  
A song that no one sings**_

"But I'm afraid that even if you love him, I'm not giving him up. I love him too. I have since I was 14. What you think you have, or imagine you have with him, isn't real." She went on to explain and I nodded half-heartedly. I barely knew what she was saying since I was thinking about him. He was too good for her. He's too good for me.

_**The unattainable, She's a myth that I have to believe in  
All I need to make it real is one more reason**_

"You think you have a chance with him, but in reality all you have with him is a chance for failure, and I'm not saying this to be mean, because I consider youmy friend and I don't want you getting hurt." She explains and I'm still only half hearing her. Ferb could take up my mind any day and I would let him.

_**I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.**_

"Anyways I'm going to go inside and you should probably fallow too since the bell just rang and class is starting." She told me and we both jumped up and ran into class. I slightly wish I were listening to whatever she was saying. Maybe it would teach me something new?

_**But I won't let this build up inside of me  
I won't let this build up inside of me**_

I walked into my next class and sat through it, barely absorbing any of the information it was feeding me. To be honest, I barely even knew what class it was. The dream I had about him was just so much more captivating, so much more interesting, and so less real.

_**I won't let this build up inside of me  
I won't let this build up inside of me**_

Lunch came and I met everybody outside under the tree. Ferb and Marissa were dangerously close to each other, Buford was beating the living daylights out of some kid and Andorea and Baljeet were talking in low voices and both seemed freakishly preoccupied.

_**A catch in my throat choke  
Torn into pieces**_

"So what's for lunch today?" Buford asked as the guy he was punching ran away. He looked like an obnoxious brat though so I'm guessing he deserved it. "Andorea and I will be eating here." Baljeet said and Andorea nodded quietly. I was starting to wonder what was up with them. "Did you know that Hitler was a vegetarian?" Ferb said in his perfect accent and I raised an eyebrow. "Is that codeword for "Let's eat McDonald's?" Buford asked and Marissa perked up. "I could go for some McDonald's." I nodded and fallowed them to the McDonald's across the street. As told earlier, Baljeet and Andorea didn't come with us. I really wanted to know what was up with them. But I could barely focus with Ferb this close to me.

_**I won't, no!  
I don't wanna be this...**_

We snagged a table and the conversation started to fade. I snapped back from fantasy Ferb land and looked up at them, "What's up with Andorea and Baljeet? And don't tell me nothing because obviously something's up there." Ferb shrugged and Marissa smiled weakly. "I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice it. Baljeet seems nervous and jumpy while Andorea seems far away. Maybe they were in a fight?" Marissa supplied and Buford shook his head.

**But I won't let this build up inside of me  
I won't let this build up inside of me**

"I'm not supposed to be telling yous, but Andorea might be pregnant and Baljeet's got no idea what he's supposed to do." Buford said and my eyes widened. That thought never even slightly occurred to me.

_**I won't let this build up inside of me  
I won't let this build up inside of me**_

"Can't say I'm surprised. Andorea's been a whore since she went out with what's-his-face, Alex." Marissa said with a sigh and I glared at her. "Are you really just going to gossip about your friend?" I asked her in an annoyed tone. I couldn't believe she was such a back stabber.

_**She isn't real**_

"Well I'm worried about her and we're discussing how we can help them." She explained half-heartedly and I glared at Ferb. "Ferb, what'd you think?" I asked slightly annoyed that I had to go to him, man of my dreams but literally, only of my dreams for help.

_**I can't make her real**_

"I think you're overreacting and that Marissa is gossiping and that we should go back to school to help out 2 of out friends in need." Ferb said as he finished off his hamburger and slipped out of his seat and started walking back to school. I through out my wrappers and fallowed him. Marissa and Buford close behind me.

_**She isn't real**_

Once we got to school, we spotted Andorea and Baljeet under oak tree. Baljeet looked frustrated and like he was about to cry. Poor kid. He couldn't deal with getting something wrong on a test; how the fuck was he supposed to deal with a kid?

_**I can't make her real**_

And how the fuck was I supposed to let go of Ferb if my mind revolves around him?

**~Authors note: So the song was "Vermillion Pt. 2" By Slipknot and I recommend it to everybody because it's awesome! Anyways I hope you liked it! I've been up for a full 24 hours running solely on caffeine, so even though its 9 in the morning here, G'night! Please review!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel swirls!**


	11. Chapter 11: Fall to pieces

**~Authors Note: Salutations! Every time I go to update this story, I'm always running on caffeine and only on caffeine. Isn't that weird? Anyways I hope you had a good 10 days, which I know is lounger than when I usually update, but I'm afraid you'll have to deal because I was grounded. Anyways, enjoy this chapter!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 11: Fall to pieces**

We sat with them under the tree in complete silence. We weren't sure what to say, they didn't trust themselves to say anything, and I was just lost for words. "Look we know Andorea might be pregnant." Marissa said absentmindedly and I snapped my head sideways so I could glare at her. "You don't just say it like that!" I told her and she shrugged before snapping an innocent smile on her face, "than how was I supposed to tell them?" She asked and I tried to think of a way, but I myself didn't know of any.

_**I looked away  
then I looked back at you,  
You tried to say  
the things that you can't undo,**_

I looked over at Baljeet and Buford. Buford was trying to apologize while Baljeet told him how he didn't want to hear it. "Alika you should really stop trying to be so perfect." Ferb told me in that velvety British accent of his that almost made me forget that he was saying it as an insult type argument. I tried to face his perfect face, but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I pretended not to be moved by the comment, but that wasn't working too well for me either. I had to look at him. I couldn't look at him.

_**If I had my way  
I'd never get over you,  
Today's the day  
I pray that we make it through.**_

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." He stumbled on his words and his British accent didn't seem so smooth. He wasn't perfect either, he couldn't undo what he said, the words were out in the open, and they hurt more than I'll ever let on, but I didn't want to whine about it. There was really no point in that.

_**Make it through the fall,  
Make it through it all.**_

"No it wasn't. It wasn't uncalled for if it's true. She really shouldn't try to be perfect all the time. Some people are and some people aren't. It's just the way life is." Marissa said as she brushed some grass off her shirt. She was really starting to piss me off. What the hell did Ferb see in her? Though, still I didn't want this to be what breaks me, I was stronger than that.

_**And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just wanna sit and stare at you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation**_

"Alika, you've been acting different lately. Has something occurred?" Ask Ferb and I smiled. He was talking more than he usually did, and I loved it. "Well how could I not be upset if she's basically throwing herself onto you every single time you sit by each other?" She spit the words back and Ferb got up and starred at her. No words were spoken in his part, but his eyes told the story. Hate, betrayal, anger, all things he was feeling. One insult and bam, he was worked up. That was new.

_**I just wanna cry in front of you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you.**_

"Marissa you've been a real bitch lately, I'm just saying you haven't even gone out for a week, give him some fucking space, jeez." Andorea said in a pissed off voice. "And you've been a real whore lately but this would be the first time I've mentioned it." She spat back as she two got up. She looked at Ferb and said, "I think it's about time we went to class, don't you Ferb?" It was asked in the way that she obviously wanted her to come with her. And then there was a pause.

**You're the only one  
I'd be with till the end.  
When I come undone**

Ferb's eyes darted back in forth like he was trying to make up his mind, and when he looked up, he had. "No, I'm fine actually." He was so determined as he said the words. Determination I hadn't ever seen in anybody. It was amazing. "Fine, we're through." She said as she stormed off.

_**you bring me back again.  
Back under the stars,  
Back into your arms.**_

And that was it. Just like that all my worries about never getting a chance with Ferb were lifted. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind right now but I put a hand on his shoulder. He looked like he was about to cry. Was he not expecting that response? Oh well, I just wanted to sit down and cry with him. We didn't need to talk about what he said or she said or what I said, I just wanted to be with him. That was enough.

_**And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just wanna sit and stare at you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just wanna cry in front of you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you.**_

The bell rang and every besides Ferb got up and walked inside. Did they not see him? I sat down beside him and looked at him. "Do you want to ditch?" I asked him and he nodded. "Do you have a car?" I asked and he shook his head. So I pointed to mine. "I do. Get in." I told him and he obeyed and climbed in the shotgun seat.

_**Wanna know who you are,  
Wanna know where to start,  
I wanna know what this means.**_

We drove around town mindlessly for a little while. There was no destination, no ending goal, and no time limit. It felt nice just driving. Ferb supplied most of the conversation surprisingly, and I mainly listened because I didn't want him to revert back to normal and thoughtful Ferb. It was nice just like this.

_**Wanna know how you feel,  
Wanna know what is real.  
I wanna know everything  
Everything!**_

"Why don't you get along with Marissa?" he asked and I sighed. Was I supposed to tell him? If he was too good for her, he was obviously too good for me. I don't think it was a bright idea. I was good without him knowing that I loved him. I'm not going to tell him.

_**I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just wanna sit and stare at you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just wanna cry in front of you.  
I don't wanna talk about it.**_

"She just rubbed me the wrong way. I never understood why she was so possessive." I told him and he nodded thoughtfully. "She kind of was, wasn't she?" he asked to no one in particular before pointing to a house. "That's my house. Its 3:20 so you can drop me off here." He told me and I smiled before stopping the car. "See you tomorrow." I told him and he nodded before walking towards his house. It was a nice house.

_**And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just wanna sit and stare at you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation**_

I prepared to drive away when I heard a knock on the side window. I stopped and snapped my head back to see Phineas with a smile on his face. Brightening all of his already bright features.

_**I just wanna cry in front of you.  
and I don't wanna talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you.  
I'm in love with you,**_

He opened the shotgun door and came in. "Hey Alika." He told me. I looked at him with a questioning gaze as he shot the door. "Let's chill." He told me and I shrugged, when he wasn't near his brother, he almost acted human; I guessed I could give him a chance. "Fine. What do you want to do?" His smile grew even wider than I thought possible. "Brilliant! The mall!" He said and I sighed. Maybe this was a bad idea.

_**'Cause I'm in love with you.  
I'm in love with you,**_

Maybe? What was I talking about? Of course it was a bad idea! Didn't I have any idea how Ferb would react to this?

I'm in love with you.

**Authors note: Hope you liked it! I know the song kinda loses meaning towards the very end but come'on! Work with me here! Anyways I know, what was I thinking? Who likes Avril anymore? And let me just say, I only like first and second album Avril, we all know that she sucks now. The song was Fall to pieces, avril lavigne, second album Under My Skin. Hope you liked it! Review!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	12. Chapter 12: Perfect

**~Authors Note: Gondorprimyalon! No caffeine high today! Well, almost thought because its 1 in the morning and I think I'm going to stay up all night because I'm really late for updating and I feel bad and I have the hiccups! Anyways I'm really bored and I'm sorry for not updating faster but I really just haven't been in the mood to update any of my fanfics and I'm sorry, so please enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 12: Perfect**

_**Hey dad look at me**_

I was at the mall sharing a pretzel with Phineas while he talked and talked. After awhile, I started to think the guy couldn't shut up, but it was still nice, or at least, as nice as it could get while feeling guilty for hanging out with your boyfriends worst enemy and actually realizing how much of a nice person he is. Double whammy.

_**Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?**_

"So anyways Marissa is telling everybody at school that Ferb cheated on her with you, so what's the deal with that?" he said in a gossipy tone as he shoved a piece of the soft pretzel in his mouth. I looked at him with wide eyes and he smiled and chuckled at my reaction, "Ok so I'm guessing that that's not true. What really happened?" I thought back and explained to him how Marissa broke up with Ferb and how she was being ultra possessive and he just starred at me.

_**And do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along**_

"Wow." Was all he managed to say before jumping up from the table in the middle of the food court. He held a hand out for me and I took it with caution before he dragged me out of the mall and into my car. "Drive me home." He demanded and I nodded and did as he said. He was acting weird now.

_And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna to make you proud_

_I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that I'm alright  
And you can't change me_

When we got to his house he smiled his thanks before jumping out of the car and running to his back yard. I drove away and towards my house. Brad was in the front glaring angrily at me. And I realized this was going to be a replay of what happened at my old house. It was going to be a replay of everything I tried so hard to get away from.

_cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

"The school called." He told me as I got out of my car. It never used to be like this. I didn't use to call him by his first name, I used to think he was capable of making everything better, but than he started fighting with my mom, and now all that, well, now I'm the one that seems to be the disappointment. No matter what I do, it can't be good enough. I think he might do it to distract him from the marriage issues he has with his wife, so I usually just sit there quietly and listen.

_**I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero**_

"They told me you ditched school with a Ferb Fletcher, would you care to explain?" He asked me and I knew that really meant, "I'll pretend to let you be able to reason with me" so I said nothing. "Speak," He demanded and I met his gaze. This would be the first time I ever did that, and I starred at him with as much intensity I could find. "He got dumped so I was trying to make sure he was ok," I told him and he rolled his eyes, "How were you planning on doing that?" He asked in a cruel tone and I could think of anything to say, so I stayed quiet, still starring at him, "You probably slept with him in your car. You're a filthy whore, just like your mother."

_**All the days you spent with me  
Now you seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore**_

Silence filled the air. No words were spoken. He went too far, I had nothing to tell him. He could go to hell for all I cared. So long hero and trying to meet his expectations. Good-bye Love for a father. That word is no lounger in my vocabulary. Brad was Brad, there was no more. I wasn't related to him in anyways.

_**And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright**_

"Shut up." I told him as I glared at him with tears in my eyes about to slip down my pale cheeks, "Shut up, back down, and go to hell," I told him before I walked past him but he just took a step back and got in my way.

_**cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect**_

"You're grounded from using your car for a week." He told me and I took a step back so I was facing him and smiled a fake and cruel smile, "I don't care," I told him mockingly happy tone and he pointed to the house. "Go to your room." He demanded and I laughed at him, "Where my Ipod, books and life is? Gladly." Before walking gracefully up the stairs and into my room.

_**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again (right again)**_

I slipped into my room and lied down on my bed so that I could look at the cracks in the ceiling. I always wanted to meet his expectations, I wanted to be the daughter he could be proud of, but I wasn't ever going to be. I wasn't enough for him. Were his expectations too high or am I just an idiot? Probably a little bit of each.

_**Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you  
But you don't understand (you don't understand)**_

I remembered when I was a kid, when I used to get bullied, how Jillian was always out working really late and my dad used to be there from me, but he started to get frustrated with Jillian, and Jillian could never take any responsibility outside of work, so she became snappish and they fought.

_**cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect**_

So many horrible memories came with their fights. There were the ones where I tried to distract them with me and the ones where I just let it go and cried my eyes out under my bed with a pillow over my head trying to drown out the screaming. Distracting them with me was always the easiest alternative though. I did anything to get them to stop screaming, but one of my teachers said it was for attention, but it wasn't for attention, I just wanted their attention directed away from each other, and I was the easiest thing to use against them. I'd cut my wrist open like an idiotic emo kid, drink to the point where I walked home slurring and smelling of wine, fail any class I could, pick fights with people just so I could lose and come home beaten up and of course refuse any authority. It wasn't for attention, I didn't want people looking at me and whispering, I didn't want all my friends parents telling them they couldn't hang out with me because I'm a bad influence. I wanted friends and happy smiles, I just didn't know how I could distract them and get them at the same time. I just figured it was impossible.

_**Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect**_

_I wish Phineas was here, _I thought without realizing it, and when I did, my eyes opened wide. I didn't need another problem to add to the list. Oh shit

_**Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect**_

**!~~Authors note: so that was it! Another problem for Alika. Poor hers! Anyways soooooooooo please review, since I don't get many reviews for this story! I won't update unless I get at least 1 review or 2 "add to favorite stories" thing. Sound fair?**

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**


	13. Chapter 13: This grudge

**~Authors Note: Wow. No caffeine at all today, it's not even late, it's like, almost sunrise and I just wasted my entire day watching Glee, Fruits Basket and Deathnote! That's what I call a day well spent! Well not really, because I'm a vivid MLIAer so, my idea of a day well spent is watching Pokemon in a Snuggie while eating fishy crackers with the intense "om nom nom om" sounds, but that's what I did YESTERDAY, so whatever lol. Enjoy!**

**Peace in**

**Mel Swirls!**

**Ps: heads up! The song kind of goes with this chapter, but only if you look at it from a certain angle and take all things with a grand of salt, or a lot of salt, whatever floats your boat ^.^ lol**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 13: This grudge**

_**Fourteen years  
thirty minutes  
fifteen seconds I've  
held this grudge**_

I woke up that morning wondering why Ferb hated Phineas that much. It didn't really make all that much sense to me, considering all bullshit aside, Phineas was a nice person, but than again he seemed like the attention-hogging brother. Making assumptions whoever, will get me nowhere, so I got up that morning with the thought in my head that I was going to ask both of them and really listen to their answers… God I sound like one of those bad teenage drama TV shows that have no plot and make you want to puke, but if you don't watch it, you're labeled as a geeky nerd. Yeah, I know, fucked up, right?

_**Eleven songs  
four full journals  
thoughts of punishment  
I've expended**_

I slipped out of my room and into the bathroom and glared at my reflection. This face – my face – look especially destroyed today. You could tell that I didn't remove my makeup and I know had 3 new pimples in the center of my forehead that looked about ready to pop, but when you tried to pop it, no fucking way was it going to pop, and my hair, well, that speaks for itself, so I stripped down and slipped into the shower and let the water calm me down and wake me up.

_Not in contact  
not a letter  
such communication  
telepathic_

_you've been vilified  
used as fodder  
you deserve a piece  
of every record_

I slipped out and put on my Alanis Morissette "So called-chaos" Concert tank top on, a black sweater with light blue hearts on it and faded skinny jeans with my usual converse before slipping downstairs to see my parents, sitting at the table in a silence, that I could not even begin to describe. It was like a weird mixture of screaming, happiness, crying, pain, anger, frustration, denial and pity all mixed together inside of someone, and when they try to talk, they can't say anything, and if that made any sense to you, than you have obviously felt this kind of silence before, and even if I've never felt or seen or heard a silence like this one, I could tell that it meant something absolutely horrible, like Jillian and Brad deciding to ship me off to boarding school or them telling me my favorite pet (not that I even have a pet) just died.

_**But who's it hurting now?  
Who's the one that's stuck?  
Who's it torturing now  
with an antique knot in her stomach?**_

"G'morning." I said halfheartedly before stealing a piece of toast off the table. "Look, Alika, we need to talk," Said Jillian in a way that didn't break the silence, because the words were only half said, meaning she didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't want to hear about it. "What about?" I said nonchalantly and she sighed. "Your father and I have realized that we've fought a lot lately, and we've decided to get a divorce."

_**I want to be big and let go  
of this grudge that's grown old  
all this time I've not known  
how to rest this bygone**_

That wasn't what I was expecting, but whatever, good news is good news right? "Great, I think your constant yelling frigged up my childhood." I told them in a cruel tone but with a huge smile on my face, because they may think I only said it to be spiteful, but I actually did kind of mean it, so I decided to let them take it either way.

_**I wanna be soft and resolved  
clean of slate and released  
I wanna forgive for the both of us**_

"Well just wait a minute 'Lika, I don't-" I interrupted Brad to say, "Stop right there, think about what your about to say to me, than let it go, because I'm going to be late for school." He glared at me but than smiled, "You're grounded from your car, remember?"

_**Like an abandoned house  
dusty covered  
furniture  
still intact**_

Oh fuck. Forgot about that one, didn't I? Though, I guess I kind of walked into it, didn't I?

_**If I visit it now  
do I simply re-live it  
somehow gratuitous**_

"Well how am I supposed to get to school?" I asked and Jillian smiled at me, "Since your father will be moving out, and this is my house, you're ungrounded, here's the keys sweetie." She told me in a way that I knew she was just trying to get back at Brad, but I couldn't careless, I had my car back AND no more fighting in my house. Double Whammy.

_But who's still aching now?  
Who's tired of her own voice?  
Who is it weighing down _

_With no gift from time of said healing_

I took the keys, grabbed my stuff and jogged out of my car before realizing how totally lost I'm going to be at school. I didn't do any of the homework, and I missed some of yesterday, and all of the day before that. Maybe I could blame it on my parents divorce? That seems like it could work…

_**I want to be big and let go  
of this grudge that's grown old  
all this time I've not known  
how to rest this bygone**_

I slipped through school with ease. Ferb held my hand every chance he had, and Phineas flashed me smiles every time we saw each other, but that's not what made me feel so comfortable in my own skin. It was the fact that I, Alika, has finally, been able to be one with myself and let go, something I was never strong or big enough to do before. It was a sense of accomplishment.

_**I wanna be soft and resolved  
clean of slate and released  
I wanna forgive for the both of us**_

But more importantly, it was a sense of relief and comfortability. I could walk down the halls with friends, people who actually cared about me, and wanted to spend time with me. Why was I so accomplished and happy and free? Could the mere fact that Brad and Jillian are finally break me up bring me so much happiness? And why did it seem like Ferb wasn't holding my hand because he wanted to show me how proud he was, but more for himself, because he wanted to feel like someone was there from him. What was going on there?

_**Maybe as I cut the cord  
veils will lift from my eyes  
Maybe as I lay this to rest  
dead weight off my shoulders will rise**_

I made plans to go with Ferb, Andorea and Baljeet to Shoppers drugmart to buy a pregnancy test, well actually, the plan is we're all going to buy pregnancy test, and we're all going to pee on them to see what they say so that Andorea doesn't feel alone doing it, and even though Ferb was seemingly happy and smiling, I knew he hadn't let go of his grudge, something was holding him back from being free, and I wanted him to be as happy as he possibly could be.

_**Here I sit  
much determined  
ever ill-equipped  
to draw this curtain**_

I wanted him to be like me at this very moment.

_**how this has entertained  
validated  
and has served me greatly  
ever the victim**_

I decided that after the pregnancy thing that night, I was going to ask him about it, maybe see if I get him talking, because I wanted him to know that I was there for him just as much as he was there for me.

_**But who's done whining now?  
Who's ready to put down  
this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember**_

_**I want to be big and let go  
of this grudge that's grown old  
For the life of me I've not known  
how to rest this bygone**_

Because whatever his grudge was, I knew that we could free him from it together.

_**I wanna be soft and resolved  
clean of slate and released  
I wanna forgive for the both of us**_

**~~~~Authors note: I made it slightly lounger than I usually do, so I hope you're happy! Anyways, I have a V for Vendetta fanfic and poem, so if you wouldn't mind I'd appreciate you guys going to check them out! Thanks! Anyways please review!**

**Peace in!**

**Mel Swirls!**

**PS: the song in the last chapter was "perfect by Simple plan (I forgot to say it) and the one in this chapter is "this grudge" by Alanis Morissette who is a crazily gifted woman, and I highly recommend everything from her album "so-called chaos" because it's absolutely brilliant, and that's coming from a singer/songwriter myself, so yeah. **

**Pss: Do you guys have any song recommendations? Because I'm personally kind of lost on which one I should do next. I'd prefer something less mainstream and not really Lady Gaga-like, so Alternative, rock, punk, screamo, emo, metal, folk, funk, ANYTHING that isn't mainstream! I guess that's kind of my project, so if you have a band, and would like to give me a song lyric sheet, I might use it! So yeah, contact me on that!**

**Psss: I know this might not interest you any, but this is actually one of the most meaningful songs for me, so please no bashing my choice, ok?**


	14. Chapter 14: All i wanted

**~Authors Note: Ok so Hi guys. I apologize a thousand times for the pause, but I got a request for a Paramore song again, and I've been listening to endless Paramore songs trying to find what that I like and fits with the story, and god, just let me tell you it takes more effort then I thought it would, but I'm quite pleased with this chapter. Anyways, My unrelated Twin Kristin has an account on here now, and Her pen name is; CalamityImInLoveWithAGayGuy so please add her to your favorite authors, because she'll be uploading her first fanfic soon and I want her to have some support. Anyways I hope you like this chapter, it took a lot of work!**

**Ps; Don't get angry because at first the song doesn't fit with the story! It'll all make sense!**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 14: All I wanted **

The end of the day came almost too quickly as we all walked down to shopper's drug mart. Andorea was more jittering then I've ever seen her. "Hey calm down, ok? It'll be ok." I told her though I wasn't so sure myself. I was actually more worried about Ferb, who had stopped holding my hand since he'd talked with Phineas and was now acting more withdrawn then usual. I made a mental note to remember to ask him what was wrong.

_**Think of me when you're out, when you're out there  
I'll beg you nice from my knees**_

We all bought a pregnancy test and Baljeet and Ferb marched into the men's washroom without looking behind them. Andorea and I weren't so quick to react. We stared at the door for a few moments wondering what we should do.

"It'll be ok," I told her and she smiled weakly at me before shaking her head. "No it won't. It never is." I patter her shoulder and walked into the washroom before picking a there first stall. I waited a few minutes to see if Andorea fallowed me, and I smiled when I head her heels click on the floor and her mumbling about how this was stupid.

_**And when the world treats you way too fairly  
Well it's a shame I'm a dream**_

I peed on the stick and it came up negative, I smiled because it was obvious that I wasn't and a giant waste of my money before throwing it out and washing my hands. I was waiting for Andorea to speak up and tell me what her result was.

She came out looking me straight in the eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot and depressed before she hugged me, and I hugged her back, I knew she needed it.

_**All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you**_

A few moments went by and she let go of me looking insanely embarrassed. "I don't want to ruin Baljeet's life." She told me as she used her sleeve to wipe the tears from her eyes. "And I don't want to ruin my own," She added quietly as she rubbed her belly. And I understood. "Things will work out in the end. I promise." I told her and she shook her head and looked at the door leading us back to the shopping part. "I sure hope your right."

We walked outside the woman's restroom. Baljeet and Ferb were waiting for us there. Baljeet looked worried and more then a little bored, whereas Ferb's face held a faraway look to it.

_**I think I'll pace my apartment a few times and fall asleep on the couch  
Wake up early to black and white re-runs  
That escape from my mouth**_

Andorea whispered something to Baljeet before dragging him out of the store while I watched Ferb's facial expression change because of whatever he was thinking about. "What are you think about?" I asked which brought him back to earth.

"Alika, I don't think we should do this anymore," he said and my heart skipped a beat. I never thought his perfect British accent would ever speak those words to me.

_**All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you**_

"I can't like you, I'm sorry," he told me as he walked away. He left me just like that. I didn't ask for too much, I didn't ask for anything really, because all I wanted was him, and that simple, small pleasure was what cost me my heart.

I watched as he left. I didn't have a heart anymore, but that was ok. He was happy. I loved him so much that his happiness made me happier then my own.

_**All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you**_

I let a few disobeying tears slip down my face as I walked to my car and sat in the front seat before driving home. I didn't want to cry my eyes out. I didn't want to become emo because of him leaving me, because that would mean that I couldn't support myself alone, right? And I would be so much happier if I could just be happy that he'll be happy. I can live through this. I can get through this… Maybe I'll invite Andorea over and eat some chocolate ice cream. I can miss him, can't I?

When I got home I brought my bags up to my room and slipped silently into my room before putting the earphones in my ears and playing some paramore and My chemical Romance **(authors note: My reason for both of those bands are simple; I found out about both of them through the magical world of The Sims.) **without letting anymore tears slip down my cheek. I wasn't going to cry.

_**I could follow you to the beginning  
Just to re-live the start  
Maybe then we'll remember to slow down  
At all of our favorite parts**_

I took deep breaths before reaching for a random book off my shelf and throwing myself into it.

I heard a small knock on my door, which was the first thing that brought me back to the real world. I didn't even know how long it had been, but I was starting to worry.

_**All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you**_

"come in!" I called and Jillian walked in slowly with a worried expression on her face, "sweetie, are you ok? You came home from school and marched into your room and you haven't come out for a few hours now, is something going on?" I took a deep breath and only wished that I could tell her what was going on, because sadly, adults and teenagers alike never understand.

_**All I wanted was you  
All I wanted was you**_

**~~~~~Authors note: So that was that chapter, the song was "all I wanted" by paramore and I'm sorry the song was so short but it was the best I could do! Am I forgiven? Hopefully! Anyways please review and excuse the shortness of this chapter! I really don't try!**

**Peace in!**

**Melanie swirls!**

**Ps; I'm still taking recommendations but please don't pick Paramore again because after doing a band twice I feel like I'm not letting other bands get discovered!**


	15. Chapter 15: Good Riddance

**~Authors Note: Ok, so the pause can be blamed on school, and I can be blamed for letting school and being grounded get in the way of my being grounded, also, if it counts for anything, I've been attempting to spend more time with my boyfriend,. Now, anyways I got 2 different song requests, so I picked A green day song and decided to save the other one for later, anyways, just a note on this song is that, even though it'll make me seem like a ½ green day fan, this is actually one of my favorite songs by them; This, Jackass, Macy's day parade and all the song's in their album dookie. Lol. They've been my favorite band since I was like 8, and that was without knowing who they were, so now, I present to you, My absolute favorite band, Green Day!**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 15: Good Riddance**

_**Another turning point**_

If people looked at me right now, they'd think I'm over him. They'd think I've moved on and that I've learnt to accept that he wont be mine, and part of me (a small part of me, but nevertheless is _still technically _a part of me) has, but the other, the major part of me, still wants to hold his hand, still wants to kiss his lips and still wants him. Both parts understand that he's not mine, but only one of them has completely moved on. I give you the chance to guess which one.

_**A fork stuck in the road**_  
_**Time grabs you by the wrist**_

Now I'm not saying I'm miserable, because I'm really not. Ferb though, has been. I mean literally, he hasn't even dared to speak to me, or anyone else for that matter, but that's not too odd for him, it's the fact that this withdrawal seems to make it so he can't hear any of out voices either. Phineas says he's just had lot's on his mind and he's trying to cope, but I don't think forgetting your friends is normal, but then again, who am I to talk, right?

_**Directs you where to go**_  
_**So make the best of this test**_  
_**And don't ask why**_

Phineas. Wow what can I say? He has been completely single since Isabella dumped him a few weeks ago, or at least that's what everyone is saying happened, I have a hunch that Phin dumped the whore, but nobody seems to agree with me. Ah well, can't be right about everything I suppose.

_**It's not a question  
But a lesson learned in time  
It's something unpredictable**_

No, what's weird is that Phineas, someone who I think might be the most popular kid in school, actually wants to hang out with me, and he actually asks me all the time. Several people have even asked if we were dating, which was kind of weird because it makes me feel like people might think I'm just after all the Fletcher/Finn, but if that's what it looks like I'm really sorry, because that's not what I'm trying to do.

_**But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life**_

My head was aching. Like really aching since the day I last spoke to Ferb, which was a week and a half ago. His name in my head was like a constant drumming, or some sort of sick chant. I couldn't even read any more because my mind kept repeating Ferb, Ferb, Ferb, Ferb, Ferb. It was getting to be quite annoying and very disrupting. I've already made 2 mistakes when I was talking and said 'Ferb' instead of somebody else's name. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold up.

_**So take the photographs  
And still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in**_

Anyways, I guess I'm going to be forced to learn how to cope, just like Ferb supposedly is.

"Amelika, are you alright? You're staying into space and you have been for the last 5 or 10 minutes." Phineas says which knocks me from my thoughts for a few moments. I hope I don't become like Ferb, so engrossed in his mind that he doesn't even know what's going on.

"I'm completely fine, I'm just thinking"

"About What?"

"I don't need to tell you, I'm allowed to have some secrets you know,"

"It's about him isn't it?"

"Who?"

"Ferb." He said flatly without the need to explain himself. Of _course_ it was about Ferb! Who else would it be about? It's always about him! I'm sorry! "I'm worried about him is all," I explain but he shakes his head, tears falling down softly, "No, Alika, I think you love him. You love my brother," He states before getting up from my couch. I was glad right about now that my mom wasn't home.

_**Good health and good time**_  
_**Tattoos of memories**_  
_**And dead skin on trial**_

"And Alika, what you don't seem to understand is that he doesn't like you. He dumped you, but I love you! But I'm not Ferb! I don't read emo poetry books, and I don't have a velvety British accent! Everybody fucking thinks I'm the optimistic one and he's the pessimistic one, but it's the other way around! He gets everything he wants! He always has, and even know, he's gotten you," He finishes and I'm left reaching for words.

_**For what it's worth  
It was worth all the while  
It's something unpredictable**_

Hate, was the first emotion to come. Probably Because I couldn't hate Ferb for dumping me, because I couldn't get over him, so when he spoke the truth, the blatant, harsh truth, I couldn't hear it. I wanted to move on and forget, but I couldn't forget perfection. Never.

_**But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life**_

Disappointment was next on the list. I was disappointed him for saying something so mean and hurtful and _true _to my face, but I was more disappointed in myself for not speaking these words earlier, for not thinking these words earlier, for not understanding what these words mean earlier, for being oblivious.

_**It's something unpredictable  
But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life**_

"Don't cry," he said as he wrapped his tan arms around me, holding me close to his warm body, and up until right then, I hadn't even known I was crying. "I'm sorry, Alika. I-I just hate that I'm not good enough, I hate that you don't love me the way I love you. Is he really that amazing?" He asks and I just blink. I don't want to lie to him. I want to be able to be strong and let this go. One of my relationships had already gone down the tubes, and the last thing I need is this one going down too.

_**It's something unpredictable  
But in the end is right**_

The last thing I need is to find myself alone.

_**I hope you had the time of your life**_

**~~Authors note: So the song barely fits with it if you think the title is "time of your life" but when you know that its really called "good riddance" it fits in more. Hmmmm maybe I should have been listening to the song instead of pink floyd. Oh well, can't go back now. **

**Peace in!**

**Melanie Swirls!**

**Review and Request a song or band, I might pick it, I might not! **


	16. Chapter 16: Only

**~Authors Note: I'm so, so sorry for the wait! It's worst then ever and I know. I had full intentions of updating this sooner, but I've been writing death note fanfics, and you have no idea how fucking addicting those things are! Its like as soon as your write one you have to write a dozen! And I was reading a girl's fanfic profile, and she has a tradition that every time she uploads a chapter, she writes an oneshot! And I thought that was a great idea, but I wanted to ask you guys what you people thought of it? Also, I've been really busy with school, and when you talk and think in French all day, it's hard to go home and write in English. Please enjoy?**

**Ps: I didn't get any song requests, so I picked "only" by nine inch nails. Now I personally can't listen to this song without feeling egocentric, which is why I picked it for this chapter, because Alika needs an ego boost.**

**Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is**

**Chapter 15: Only**

I'm becoming less defined as days go by  
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus

"Phineas, he's not that amazing," I tell him as I hug him back, tears falling down my cheeks at full speed. I was embarrassed. This, fucking goddamn sadness and crying public wasn't my thing. I didn't like looking weak, but look at me! I'm crying my eyes out beside Phineas Flinn. That's not like me. This can't be who I am. I don't want to be like this! So why am I acting like this? Is this really me? Who the hell am I?

Kind of drifting to the abstract  
In terms of how I see myself

"Sh, Alika don't lie to me, I know who he is in your eyes, and but he left you, and I would never do that, **(A/N: I think that might be a line in twilight. I'm disappointed in myself.) **I couldn't leave you if I tried, Alika." He told me as he kissed my forehead softly before wiping my tears. I should feel bad for putting Phineas through this, but he seems to be coping well. I'm the one crying. He can't be feeling that bad if I'm the one crying.

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself  
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself

He held me tighter and inhaled sharply before saying, "It doesn't matter if you fit in with the people I hang out with, or my family, or if my stepbrother hates you, 'Lika, because I love you, and that's something the emotionless bastard will never tell you. You are my one and only. I will never, ever feel this way about anybody aside from you, And if you don't feel the same way about me, then I just have to try harder, that's all" he said as he smiled.

Less concerned about fitting into the world  
Your world that is

"I'm not worth that, Phin," I told him and he shook his head before kissing the tip of my nose, "Shut your mouth, you are worth everything, There's no one else when you're there. I love you, and you are my entire world, didn't you just listen to me say this three seconds ago? You are the reason I'm me, I see this now." He told me and I rolled my eyes but let it sink in.

**Cause it doesn't really matter any more  
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)**

I liked this idea. Was I really worth this much? I mean I was pretty fucked up, and I definitely wasn't normal, but could I really be more important then other people?

**No it doesn't really matter any more  
None of this, really matters any more**

Oh shit, I'm starting to blow myself up too much. I don't want to have a god complex. Back to reality; ummm… what was reality again?

**Yes I'm alone, then again I always was  
As far back as I can tell  
I think maybe it's because you were never really real to begin with**

"Really?" I asked him and he nodded, "Of course, I wouldn't lie to you, 'Lika." I blinked a few times before pulling away from him slightly. Maybe he was mixed up? I couldn't be the girl he was talking about, I'm not that important or nice or loveable. I'm just Plain Alika.

I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself

Narcissist, Rebelling, Bratty, Nosy, Ugly, Mary-Sue'ish Alika.

"Are you lying to me?" I asked him, suddenly worried that I might have made this all up, in a dream or a crazy daydream only to cause myself more pain, so that I could just hurt myself some more.

I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself  
And it worked...yes it did

"…" He stared at me with wide eyes and I blinked. His silence was exactly reassuring. I was right wasn't it? Oh god I really am crazy… I'm totally fucking insane.

"Are you serious?" he asked and I glared, like it wasn't apparent that I was.

**There is no you! There is only me  
There is no you! There is only me**

"Obviously, I wouldn't have asked to be funny, it's not very funny."

**There is no fucking you! There is only me  
There is no fucking you! There is only me**

"Alika, Of course I'm not lying to you, when will you figure this out?"

Only

Only

Only

Only

I thought a moment before snorting unattractively, I really had no reason to do but it came almost instinctively. "When you can prove me wrong," I told him and he just ponder that for a moment as we enjoyed each other's company.

Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye  
And it turned out to be a scab  
And I had this funny feeling

I meant the world to him. I meant more then he did. I was more then him Alika Phineas. Ferb Alika Phineas; I don't like that last one as much, but let's be honest, it's true. God, this is weird.

**Like I just knew it's something bad  
I just couldn't leave it alone  
I kept picking at the scab  
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut  
But I climbed through**

Most of me was starting to get used to that, but the other part - no matter how small was still a part – was wondering why he hadn't seen all the horrible aspects of my personality and appearance, like scabs all over my body. I was wondering why he hasn't said anything about them, and why I was left wondering if he really was in love with me or if he was just, you know, lying to fuck… But then again, I don't know why he'd want to fuck me, so yeah.

**Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be  
And I can see things I know I really shouldn't see  
And now I know why, ya now I know why  
Things aren't as pretty, on the inside**

But still, until proven wrong, the equation was; Alika Phineas. Meaning for once in my life, I, Alika, have been forgiven for the bullshit I've down and said and is now finally allowed to love somebody and let them love me back, it doesn't really matter if the emotions are from and for the same person too much, because I'm not lying to anybody, Phineas is a nice guy too, but he said it himself;

**There is no you! There is only me  
There is no you! There is only me  
There is no fucking you! There is only me  
There is no fucking you! There is only me**

I was worth more then him.

only

only  
only

only

only

only  
only

only

**~Authors note: God that was the most Mary Sue-ish thing I've ever written in my life, but don't worry, this is all explained in the end, which I'm already planning yes, since this is coming to a close soon. Anyways please review, request a song or a band and message me if you have any questions! R, R & M… lol Very catchy right? **

**Peace in!**

**Melanie Swirls!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Alright, I will admit it. **

**I dont want to continue you this.**

**When I started, I ws excited, but I love to start new things. It's ending things I suck at.**

**So I'm sorry to tell you that this fic will never be continued. Ever.**

**If someone wants to rewrite this or finish it, I'm open for that, I just want to know first so message me or review.**

**I'm sorry that it had to end this way. It's not you, it's me.**

**Sorry I had to say that last bit. It sounded super epic lol 8D**

**Thats all, **

**Melanie Swirls**


End file.
